For all of you who do not celebrate Christmas or Chrimbus, I apologize. However, THIS will be my final post about such things for a long time.
I promise!
Here's what I have left:
Jamaican young-adult mutated ninja tortoises singing "Deck the Halls" with a bit of a pizza-themed twist.
Fan made Pokemon Christmas Bash video featuring Brock humping a Sudowoodo.
Christmas comes early for Doink the Clown when the real Santa Claus appears on WWF Superstars of Wrestling and delivers him his little friend, 'DINK". You know, since there can only be one Doink in the WWF.
Uncle Muscles sing his Christmas wishes. Ho ho ho.
Lvl Up features the likes of Dave Benton and Nick Corbo from Spook Houses and Sirs. This is sort of their side project featuring a bit more bedroom recording/acoustic/lo-fi stuff than those other bands.
Favorite track would have to be "NIGHTSHADE". Check 'em all out though!
The Chewers are a two-man outfit based in West Virginia that make "deliberately off-kilter" music.
Off-kilter is definitely one way of putting it...
I found out about this interesting band/album after looking through my spam mail the other day. I'm not sure how it ended up in there but I'm pretty glad I decided to check. It really makes me wonder how much stuff I miss when I don't check my spam!
Recently I sent in a playlist idea to one of the local record stores in town, Bull Moose, as they were putting on a contest where the best Christmas playlist posted on their Facebook wall ended up being played in their store one weekend in December. Unfortunately, I didn't win. I did however make it to 'the finals' though and truthfully had a lot of fun putting the damn thing together.
So, long story short, here is a Christmas playlist I made:
Songs not available on Spotify: I like Trains' "Last Christmas" (so I just put "The Christmas Tree Ship" on it instead), La Dispute's "Twas the Night Before Christmas", and Weezer's "The Christmas Song" (a Japanese B-side from 'The Green Album').
For the past 13 years, "Arbor Christmas" has been compiling a Christmas collection featuring the likes of By Surprise, It's a King Thing, The Fur Not Longs, Norick Eve, Ages, Young Statues, Aspiga and many more!
This 19 song compilation features un-stale holiday-themed jingles that are mostly original numbers. Plus they're by people and bands you don't hate yet! How can you go wrong?
Along with this collection, the people behind Arbor Christmas are putting on their 13th annual Christmas show in New Jersey where most of these acts are from and will be playing. It's a long standing tradition with a great story behind it as well!
All past years' compilations can still be found on Arbor Christmas's bandcamp - and all for free!
I'm also certain that Ages have created enough Christmas songs for these comps and on their own that they have compiled 'em all up and made a Christmas song anthology which is for free on their bandcamp!
There's been a lot of Santa's but none named 'Hulk'.
This complex tale of holiday nonsense also stars: a young Brenda Song, a young Mila Kunis, and the neighbor from That 70's Show (also starring a more grown up Kunis), Don "Bob Pinciotti" Stark.
Because Christmas is really about getting the coolest action figure or having the coolest dad who can kick Santa's frost-bitten ass!
I was going to take this opportunity to write why I genuinely like this movie and how much I can relate to it, but then I figured, what's the use? I know it's bad. It's got Sinbad as a mailman for Christmas' sake! That won't stop me from watching it though.
If you would like to watch someone who at least acts like he hates this masterpiece, I highly recommend you watch the Nostalgic Critic review:
I would definitely watch the Turboman TV show, Doug! I would!
Also: Ironically I think I got a Jake Lloyd action figure for Christmas a few years after this movie came out:
In 1995, "Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase once again proved to everyone that he was the biggest heel with the biggest wallet after attacking Savio Vega with his latest purchase, Santa's brother! Ladies and gentleman, I present to you, hailing from the South Pole: Xanta Klaus
That's right! Xanta Klaus! The reverse Santa Clause who would wear black and red instead or white and red, lived in the South Pole instead of the North Pole, and, of course, stole presents instead of gave them!
At least this Claus brother is better than Vince Vaughn (Fred Claus).
Xanta Klaus only appeared a few times on screen in the WWF during the later parts of 1995; I'm guessing he had to go back to the South Pole to re-hydrate his evil powers or something and then his visa expired. He did however have one match while in that short time after appearing for the Christmas themed PPV, In Your House 5: Seasons Beatings, and it was on Raw against Scott Taylor AKA Scotty 2 Hotty!
Truth be told, Xanta Klaus actually went east after the end of 1995 and took up a more hardcore wrestling approach as Balls Mahoney in ECW! Looking back on Balls' match as Mr. Klaus, we can see that the chair wielding manic actually knew how to wrestle! Yep, even with that silly costume on.
Since I've never actually seen any of Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special passed the grand opening, I will be watching it as a little "study break" for myself today. And by little, I mean, all day.
Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special (TV) (1988)
Guest stars include: Frankie Avalon, Magic Johnson, Little Richard, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Oprah Winfrey, Whoopi Goldberg, Grace Jones, Charo, K.D. Lang, Joan Rivers, and of course, Santa Claus!
I LIKE TRAINS (formerly iLiKETRiANS) re-released their 2008 instrumental concept album entitled, 'The Christmas Tree Ships' after the tragic November 23, 1912 sinking of the Rouse Simmons, a schooner that was nicknamed the Christmas Tree Ship since it carried Christmas trees.
This time though, I LIKE TRAINS has decided to make it one continues stream of music rather than 5 different tracks. Usually I'm not a big fan of tracks from albums becoming one long piece for my convenience, but this is really much better as one entity. Plus, it's post rock. Post rock tracks are supposed to be long and contain all sorts of parts or "scenes" to give them that orchestral story-telling feel.
The Christmas Tree Ship's "scenes" include, the opening title track about the Rouse Simmons itself, the next three about the other ships that sank that night: "South Shore", "Two Brothers" and "Three Sisters", and the last track, "Friday, Everybody Goodbye" which is dedicated to the opening line of a message in a bottle thrown overboard by the captain.
Also, if historic ship-sinkings and everyone dying doesn't get you in the holiday spirit, I LIKE TRAINS also have their rendition of "Last Christmas" which is still available here.
The other day, I had a overwhelming nostalgic trip while watching The Santa Clause 3. Not because of my love for the perfect third installment of a beautiful Tim Allen classic (this time featuring one of the greatest actors/celebrities/human beings/someone absolutely watchable/not terrible in any way, Martin Short) but quite the opposite. I was actually so embarrassed that Santa Clause 3: whatever the rest of it was called still existed that my mind started to drift off and put me in a dream sequence where I was a little kid again watching a Christmas movie I had once very much enjoyed. After waking up from this odd Santa Clause 3 paralysis and nostalgic coma, I went on a search to find this mysterious Christmas movie of my past... AKA I went on the computer and looked up: "What is that Christmas movie where they can stop time and must put all the Christmas presents back on Christmas eve" via Google.
Lo and behold, if you actually type all that into Google and press search, the Wikipedia for the movie I was looking for comes up first thing! 'Twas the Night is the name of the movie and it was a classic Disney Channel movie that aired in 2001. It stars Bryan Cranston (or Walter White from Breaking Bad/Hal from Malcolm in the Middle) as a character named Nick Wragley who must pay off thugs that are after his Bosses bank account... by Christmas no less. What does Nick decide to do? He decides to steal Christmas presents on Christmas night after finding out that Santa uses a device to stop time so no one can see the big guy putting children's goodies under the tree!
Not in picture: Elf Jesse
That's Right, folks! Not only has Cranston sold Crystal Meth to save his son from dying, he has also murdered Santa and stolen Christmas to settle a debt for his boss.
Okay, Nick doesn't really kill Santa, but still. He does however knock him unconscious, so it's not like good ol' Kris Kringle just fell off the roof and Nick must fill in for him...
Evenly though Nick's nephew, Danny, who comes for the ride with his uncle as he pretends to be Santa, figures out that he is Grinch-ing everyone out of their presents rather than playing Santa like Tim the Tool Man once did. Feeling betrayed, Danny decides to take off on Santa's fancy new sleigh leaving impostor Santa to fend for himself and learn a bunch of Christmas and family values along the way.
Now doesn't that sound a lot better than Santa Clause 3?
Something about being away from home has caused me to miss the little things in life... Normally I wouldn't be excited about covering by blog with Christmas related posts and being in a 'seasons greetings' mood. Bahumbag! But I miss the simpler times nowadays; the times when I had nothing better to do but wait for Santa to show up at my house (even though I never had a chimney), eat my cookies, drink (most of) my milk, and hopefully leave me the right action figures I had asked for.
So, in the spirit of the great horned hunter god, the Christmas ham, Krampus, Satan, and Saint Nick himself, I present The 12 Days of Nostalgia For Tomorrow Christmas! Sit back, relax, drink some eggnog, and get excited about Christmas again!
Yes, Listener has a Christmas album. But it's not the same 'talk music' Dan Smith that we all know from Wooden Heart. No, in 2005 Dan Smith was still rapping and rapping well for that matter... even if it was about Santa and behaving for the good list. Of course that's not really what this Christmas related album is all about; it's actually much more about real topics like faith, the true meaning of Christmas, poverty, consumerism, and other more serious things than 'hey, it's Christmas! Here's a generic Christmas carol because there's no real-world problems during X-mas".
You don't have to be a religious person to appreciate this little gem either, just remember that Christmas, like any other day, or any other season, will never be perfect. It can actually be a really shitty time...
But let's not dwell on that.
Listener is also accompanied by his friend and Deepspace 5 mate, DJ Dust AKA Nate Corrona of Mars ILL who can be heard on the last track, "That Leaf Sure is Heavy, But You Have to Turn it Over" (I believe).
Love it or hate it, this is an original Christmas album. Anyone can cover 8 classic Christmas tunes - and they do i.e. every pop star who has ever been popular ever. And while not a lot of folks are listeners of Dan Smith for his Deepspace 5 Christian rap days material, it's still him. I mean isn't talk music rap, anyways?
Interesting things to note: Dust is a name of 18 different artists according to Last.fm and, according to Wikipedia, DJ Dust's real name is Adolf Hitler. I kid you not! That sure puts a damper on this whole Christmas album thing if that is true...
This year for Christmas, Santa Claus is not going to be giving out coal for all you boys and girls on the naughty list. Nope, instead those of you who decided to misbehave this year will receive and must watch beginning-to-end, A Christmas Story 2.
That's right! This year Hollywood not only tried to recycle old toys to movies (again) and 80's flix that the kids today don't know about, they also did THIS. This right here is just plain silliness. Than again, one man's angry rant is another man's (my) pleasure. I actually don't find these things as horrible and "OMG my childhood has been raped in its terribly metaphor-ed anus " as internet people badger on about with shitty things like this. I understand why these kinds of blasphemy-inducers are conceived; it's a cheap way to make some quick money and piss people off. Seriously though, no one asked for this piece of presumable garbage but hey, I might actually make the best of it and watch the damn thing. I won't pay for it or anything but I may have to witness just how bad it really is for myself. Because I'm human... I love watching horrible things.
For anyone who would like to hear more about the sequel to probably the best Christmas movie ever made, I'd suggest checking out the review on Wrestlecrap.com, a site that is usually dedicated to the very worst of pro wrestling - which there is never any shortage of. Trust me.
I don't want to give anything away.. but at one point, a supposedly 15 year old Ralphie, supposedly since he looks old enough to drink through this movie, ends up doing this:
I really wanted to focus my attention on the Martin Smith memorial post last week therefore, I really did not get a chance to post anything Christmasy or wintery. So this one goes out to all the bad boys and girls out there. Merry Chrimbus!
This little EP only features two songs but both are very much christmas type holiday songs. One is a very merry La Dispute version of Twas the Night Before Christmas and the other is a song listed as First Snow In Silent Grand Rapids. The tracks were included as part of a limited winter tour edition of Hear, Here II.
With tracks like Ashes In The Snow, Pure As Snow (Trails of the Winter Storm), Follow The Map and Everlasting Light, this album has become one of my favorites during the winter season. It's chill, soothing yet cold, and very much perfect for the slow and lazy sundays here in these few months of cold as balls time. Especially in Maine.
Every track has a little story that goes along with it and is included in the album itself as a short story. I have not read it, but rather, tried to develop my own little story behind the music and imagery for which I interpret and feel.
Weltschmerz is very much a winter album. It features some pretty cold samples of mountain men, slow avalanches of building post rock and brutal season's beatings of aggression and passion. My favorite of the post-rock screamo blend bands and I mostly only listen to them during the winter season because it just clicks more... It makes sense. Go all Bon Iver and find yourself a cabin in Alaska but only listen to this. Bon Iver didn't do that. That would be cool though. Hah. Cool.
